Having lost both of my parents, my dad when I was 17 and my mom just two years ago, I do miss that straightforward honesty I would get and the encouragement to pursue and do more...but Randy is right- it is always the people that are honest and tell you the truth that help you the most- even when you don't want to hear it. I think both my best friend and my husband fill this role in my life. They both bring clarity to things that sometimes seem hazy to me. They both encourage me to be more than I think I can.
I would say my critics in my life are my parents, husband and childhood best friend. All these people in my life are not afraid to tell me the truth or to “hurt my feelings” by being blunt. I know that I will make mistakes or need advice and they are always the first people that I go to. I think they have helped me become a better person because they are the ones who helped shape my life. I always find myself wanting to impress them or make them proud. Hearing a good job from them is always the best feeling ever. It could be sports, school, work you name it- Their approval helped me to know I was doing something right.
Hi Katie! We all need someone in our lives who can tell it like it is. Although we may not wish to hear it at the time, down the road we always seem to be grateful and better off for it.
I had a mentor that really pushed my to what I thought were my limits. Time and time again, she would tear apart what I would submit or shut down my ideas with really negative comments. This led to many long nights re-doing papers and plans for the upcoming days and making me question if this profession was right for me. I can finally say that I see the benefits of her pushing me so hard for so many years. I feel so much more confident and I feel my work ethic is stronger because of it.
My critics have always been my three sisters and my brother. We've always been a fairly close group and I find that the older we get, the closer we become. They've always been able to be completely honest with me, even if it meant hurting my feelings (and sometimes just to hurt my feelings, as siblings can do). In the end, their no nonsense honesty and straight forward thoughts helped me to stay grounded growing up and allowed me to become who I am today. Together we learned the value in being true to our family and to ourselves. There is no doubt that my number one critics have always been, and will always be, my biggest supporters.
I always wished I had a bigger family Jess. It's just me and my younger brother. I love that you have several sisters and a brother who all look out for each other.
I think my husband fills this role for me. We have been together since were were 17 and are each others biggest supporters. Sometimes that means being honest and helping you see things from a different perspective or pushing you outside your comfort zone when you think you aren't ready for a change. We both continue to evolve, change and grow as partners, parents, educators and friends. I wouldn't change that for the world.
My best friend of 25 years is my most trusted critic, and I have been lucky enough to also have her as a co-worker at two of my jobs, including my current one. We teach similar tech-related content, so we can provide useful feedback for each other when it comes to curriculum, methodology, etc. We take 30 minutes at our lunch break to walk laps around the building and discuss any current issues, struggles, successes, or anything else pertinent to our professional or personal lives. One of the best things about our friendship is that we have know each other for a long time and are on the same wavelength about most things. We can be totally honest about our feedback without worrying about hurt feelings because we both know that when we ask for input, we really want the truth, not just affirmation. She has definitely helped me become a better teacher, and a better human.
My high school coach was very tough on me and the rest of the team. Because of this he helped us to work together as a team to support one another in dealing with the challenges we faced. My time as a member on the team forced me to become a leader so we could join together as teammates to overcome any adversity we faced. My coach helped me push myself to be better as an athlete and a focused student.
In my very first job in teaching, I thought I had this whole teaching thing figured out. My second observation didn’t go as I had hoped. Along with my written evaluation, my superintendent had signed me up for a series of professional development classes. My initial reaction was that it was a fluke but I went to the classes anyway. From that experience I did learn some effective classroom strategies that I have used throughout my 31 years of teaching. My superintendent was definitely helping me out.
That's great you have been able to use those techniques for over 30 years. Professional development is just that - an opportunity to just continue to improve and expand your knowledge, and there is nothing wrong with that.
I would say that my parents are my biggest critics. My dad has passed away, but I talk to my mom everyday. Besides my husband, she knows the most about me. Growing up she used to say that I would never want to listen/take her advice, that I needed to find it all out on my own.
But I know that now, my mom would say that I am my own biggest critic. I am very hard on myself, but am a work in progress. :)
It is so true…our critics are often the ones saying they still care about us. In order to criticize you need to have a vested interest in something, otherwise why bother spending time on it. It can be very hard to hear criticism and at times it can bring a person down and made them feel like a failure. I have felt this way, criticism can hurt, especially when the criticizer does not pay attention to their words or tone of voice. I have realized that the person is only criticizing me in order to make me a better person. I have learned to take criticism and fix the areas being criticized. Today when I do not get criticism of some sort I fear the person was not paying attention or worse does not care. I am thankful for the criticism and the time the person took to help make me a more tolerable and better person.
You are right. Criticism can be very difficult to hear, especially if the tone in which it's delivered is not encouraging or kind. However, if it is someone who cares about you, that criticism can be a great gift!
There are days I feel as though I have so many critics, but I'd have to say my two best friends for over 25 years would probably be my biggest critics. Not only did I grow up with both of them, we all went to college to pursue careers in teaching, and one of them was even my college roommate. I knew when they gave me advice or pushed me, even if it seemed too blunt and honest, it was to help me become the best version of myself. I am very fortunate to have had them both in my life, for a majority of my life. They are the only two people that seem to be able to really put me in my place when necessary, and I appreciate them both for it.
While growing up, my father was probably my biggest critic. His job forced him to travel a lot, but when he was home and before he left he provided expectations. Whether I fell short, met, or exceeded those expectations, he always let me know, good or bad. Today, my wife is probably my biggest critic. We've been married for over 20 years and she is by far my best friend! She knows me better than anyone. She is never the type to sugar coat anything and likes to tell it how it is. She has convictions and sticks to them. At times she may disagree with a decision I make, but she still supports me through to the end.
Siblings, best friend, parents, and husband have given honest feedback that have made me look at my own actions in order to make improvements. They have helped me make better decisions. Randy gave the example of the coach's response, it seems like students don't always receive those reality checks until later in life as individuals refrain from offending them.
My best friend of almost 20 years is my biggest critic. She is always there for me no matter what and she will give me advice like no one I know. Even when it may be the ugly truth, she's not afraid to tell me what I need to, but may not want to hear. She is full of great wisdom beyond her years and it shows. When I left the teaching field because I was not hired for a permanent position after so many interviews, I was really discouraged. She was the one who supported me, but also reminded me how much I love teaching and children, and encouraged me to continue trying. I am grateful for that!
I have a friend like this. He has been my sounding board and honest feedback for the past 30 years. That feedback hasn't always been easy to hear, but I am forever grateful for him.
I feel like I have been lucky to have multiple people in my life who have held me a standard and have been willing to let me know when I am not living up to it. I am forever grateful for my college methods teacher who also asked me if I wanted to student-teach in her 11th grade classroom. Accepting that assignment came with the understanding that she was a brutally honest, demanding person. After breezing through my first placement, she was the bulldozer that truly pushed me to do the best I could, demanded organization usually not found in my life, and would tell me quite bluntly after a lesson if it was terrible or not. There is no single person I credit more for preparing me to be a teacher, with the right priorities and expectations. Rarely was there a kind word in the beginning, but when I did get her to smile, it was success!
This definitely relates directly to the chapter on coaching that I previously touched on. I completely agree with this concept. I think it is so important to be a critic, and I think there is a way to do it. Whenever I have a critique to give a child, I make sure to start with a compliment, give the critique, and end with a compliment (when necessary). I have had plenty of critics help me to become a better person - even the harsh ones that weren't trying to be cautious of hurting my feelings! And even if I didn't like it at the time. I have always held on to the lessons that I have learned.
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ReplyDeleteHaving lost both of my parents, my dad when I was 17 and my mom just two years ago, I do miss that straightforward honesty I would get and the encouragement to pursue and do more...but Randy is right- it is always the people that are honest and tell you the truth that help you the most- even when you don't want to hear it. I think both my best friend and my husband fill this role in my life. They both bring clarity to things that sometimes seem hazy to me. They both encourage me to be more than I think I can.
ReplyDeleteHearing a new perspective from a husband or best friend really can be eye opening to a situation where we don’t see too clear.
DeleteI would say my critics in my life are my parents, husband and childhood best friend. All these people in my life are not afraid to tell me the truth or to “hurt my feelings” by being blunt. I know that I will make mistakes or need advice and they are always the first people that I go to. I think they have helped me become a better person because they are the ones who helped shape my life. I always find myself wanting to impress them or make them proud. Hearing a good job from them is always the best feeling ever. It could be sports, school, work you name it- Their approval helped me to know I was doing something right.
ReplyDeleteHi Katie! We all need someone in our lives who can tell it like it is. Although we may not wish to hear it at the time, down the road we always seem to be grateful and better off for it.
DeleteI had a mentor that really pushed my to what I thought were my limits. Time and time again, she would tear apart what I would submit or shut down my ideas with really negative comments. This led to many long nights re-doing papers and plans for the upcoming days and making me question if this profession was right for me. I can finally say that I see the benefits of her pushing me so hard for so many years. I feel so much more confident and I feel my work ethic is stronger because of it.
ReplyDeleteThis can be a tough experience,but we can come out the other side as much stronger individuals.
DeleteMy critics have always been my three sisters and my brother. We've always been a fairly close group and I find that the older we get, the closer we become. They've always been able to be completely honest with me, even if it meant hurting my feelings (and sometimes just to hurt my feelings, as siblings can do). In the end, their no nonsense honesty and straight forward thoughts helped me to stay grounded growing up and allowed me to become who I am today. Together we learned the value in being true to our family and to ourselves. There is no doubt that my number one critics have always been, and will always be, my biggest supporters.
ReplyDeleteI always wished I had a bigger family Jess. It's just me and my younger brother. I love that you have several sisters and a brother who all look out for each other.
DeleteIt has truly been a blessing:)
DeleteI think my husband fills this role for me. We have been together since were were 17 and are each others biggest supporters. Sometimes that means being honest and helping you see things from a different perspective or pushing you outside your comfort zone when you think you aren't ready for a change. We both continue to evolve, change and grow as partners, parents, educators and friends. I wouldn't change that for the world.
ReplyDeleteThis is so special, Alicia. It really is such a game changer to have someone to grow with in every facet. Cheers!
DeleteMy best friend of 25 years is my most trusted critic, and I have been lucky enough to also have her as a co-worker at two of my jobs, including my current one. We teach similar tech-related content, so we can provide useful feedback for each other when it comes to curriculum, methodology, etc. We take 30 minutes at our lunch break to walk laps around the building and discuss any current issues, struggles, successes, or anything else pertinent to our professional or personal lives. One of the best things about our friendship is that we have know each other for a long time and are on the same wavelength about most things. We can be totally honest about our feedback without worrying about hurt feelings because we both know that when we ask for input, we really want the truth, not just affirmation. She has definitely helped me become a better teacher, and a better human.
ReplyDeleteWow, sounds like a great relationship. You're very lucky!
DeleteMy high school coach was very tough on me and the rest of the team. Because of this he helped us to work together as a team to support one another in dealing with the challenges we faced. My time as a member on the team forced me to become a leader so we could join together as teammates to overcome any adversity we faced. My coach helped me push myself to be better as an athlete and a focused student.
ReplyDeleteIn my very first job in teaching, I thought I had this whole teaching thing figured out. My second observation didn’t go as I had hoped. Along with my written evaluation, my superintendent had signed me up for a series of professional development classes. My initial reaction was that it was a fluke but I went to the classes anyway. From that experience I did learn some effective classroom strategies that I have used throughout my 31 years of teaching. My superintendent was definitely helping me out.
ReplyDeleteThat's great you have been able to use those techniques for over 30 years. Professional development is just that - an opportunity to just continue to improve and expand your knowledge, and there is nothing wrong with that.
DeleteI would say that my parents are my biggest critics. My dad has passed away, but I talk to my mom everyday. Besides my husband, she knows the most about me. Growing up she used to say that I would never want to listen/take her advice, that I needed to find it all out on my own.
ReplyDeleteBut I know that now, my mom would say that I am my own biggest critic. I am very hard on myself, but am a work in progress. :)
It is so true…our critics are often the ones saying they still care about us. In order to criticize you need to have a vested interest in something, otherwise why bother spending time on it. It can be very hard to hear criticism and at times it can bring a person down and made them feel like a failure. I have felt this way, criticism can hurt, especially when the criticizer does not pay attention to their words or tone of voice. I have realized that the person is only criticizing me in order to make me a better person. I have learned to take criticism and fix the areas being criticized. Today when I do not get criticism of some sort I fear the person was not paying attention or worse does not care. I am thankful for the criticism and the time the person took to help make me a more tolerable and better person.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. Criticism can be very difficult to hear, especially if the tone in which it's delivered is not encouraging or kind. However, if it is someone who cares about you, that criticism can be a great gift!
DeleteThere are days I feel as though I have so many critics, but I'd have to say my two best friends for over 25 years would probably be my biggest critics. Not only did I grow up with both of them, we all went to college to pursue careers in teaching, and one of them was even my college roommate. I knew when they gave me advice or pushed me, even if it seemed too blunt and honest, it was to help me become the best version of myself. I am very fortunate to have had them both in my life, for a majority of my life. They are the only two people that seem to be able to really put me in my place when necessary, and I appreciate them both for it.
ReplyDeleteIt is great to have people that have known, supported, and advised us over time!
DeleteWhile growing up, my father was probably my biggest critic. His job forced him to travel a lot, but when he was home and before he left he provided expectations. Whether I fell short, met, or exceeded those expectations, he always let me know, good or bad. Today, my wife is probably my biggest critic. We've been married for over 20 years and she is by far my best friend! She knows me better than anyone. She is never the type to sugar coat anything and likes to tell it how it is. She has convictions and sticks to them. At times she may disagree with a decision I make, but she still supports me through to the end.
ReplyDeleteSiblings, best friend, parents, and husband have given honest feedback that have made me look at my own actions in order to make improvements. They have helped me make better decisions. Randy gave the example of the coach's response, it seems like students don't always receive those reality checks until later in life as individuals refrain from offending them.
ReplyDeleteMy best friend of almost 20 years is my biggest critic. She is always there for me no matter what and she will give me advice like no one I know. Even when it may be the ugly truth, she's not afraid to tell me what I need to, but may not want to hear. She is full of great wisdom beyond her years and it shows. When I left the teaching field because I was not hired for a permanent position after so many interviews, I was really discouraged. She was the one who supported me, but also reminded me how much I love teaching and children, and encouraged me to continue trying. I am grateful for that!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend like this. He has been my sounding board and honest feedback for the past 30 years. That feedback hasn't always been easy to hear, but I am forever grateful for him.
DeleteI feel like I have been lucky to have multiple people in my life who have held me a standard and have been willing to let me know when I am not living up to it. I am forever grateful for my college methods teacher who also asked me if I wanted to student-teach in her 11th grade classroom. Accepting that assignment came with the understanding that she was a brutally honest, demanding person. After breezing through my first placement, she was the bulldozer that truly pushed me to do the best I could, demanded organization usually not found in my life, and would tell me quite bluntly after a lesson if it was terrible or not. There is no single person I credit more for preparing me to be a teacher, with the right priorities and expectations. Rarely was there a kind word in the beginning, but when I did get her to smile, it was success!
ReplyDeleteThis definitely relates directly to the chapter on coaching that I previously touched on. I completely agree with this concept. I think it is so important to be a critic, and I think there is a way to do it. Whenever I have a critique to give a child, I make sure to start with a compliment, give the critique, and end with a compliment (when necessary). I have had plenty of critics help me to become a better person - even the harsh ones that weren't trying to be cautious of hurting my feelings! And even if I didn't like it at the time. I have always held on to the lessons that I have learned.
ReplyDelete